Lessons of Motherhood: The Little Life I Never Dreamed Of

The words to an old Switchfoot song have been playing through my head lately. “This is your life. Are you who you wanna be? This is your life. Is it everything you dreamed that it would be when the world was younger and you had everything to lose?” I think that song was out when I was in middle school or high school. I always liked it, but the words hit me differently now than they did then. I recently turned twenty-six. To my pessimistic self, that means I’m basically thirty, which means I’m basically old. Okay, I know I’m not really old, but I am older. My youth is passing away.

I remember when I went to college how big the world seemed, how full of endless possibility. I had dreams and visions for my life: who I was going to marry, where I was going to live, what I was going to do. I, of course, was going to do big, important things. By twenty-six I’d probably have gotten my Ph.D., written a best-selling book that changed the world, you know, those kind of things. I wanted to live my life for God, but I assumed that meant I had to live it loudly.

The funny thing about choices though is that they have a way of narrowing our lives and eliminating possibilities. I’ve made my choices. This is my life. I’m certainly not unhappy with it, but it is smaller than I expected. It mostly consists of the four walls of my home where I pass my days with my baby boy. I don’t have a Ph.D. I haven’t written a best-selling book. In fact, I haven’t done anything of much notoriety at all and perhaps I never will.

What I’ve been learning is that it is harder to be faithful in the mundane, to find the glory in the ordinary, and to follow God through the thickets of the everyday. It is more difficult to lay down your life in the small ways when no one is taking any particular notice. It is likely that few will remember me when I die. No one will chronicle my life with a biography, but my hope and prayer is that my son and any future children will be able to say that they learned grace and wisdom and integrity because I was their mother. I hope they will learn to love the word of God because I taught it to them. I pray that they will know Jesus because they knew me. I pray that I can be faithful with my little life and the little lives entrusted to me.

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7 thoughts on “Lessons of Motherhood: The Little Life I Never Dreamed Of

  1. Breanna says:

    This is such an encouraging post! Thank you!

    • Tangela says:

      Okay Dumbo has a special place in my heart as Baby Mine was the mother/son dance at our oldest sons wedding. I love your &##E02;2&88221; photos. Disney Gal Judy

  2. Pierce Jamieson says:

    I am horrified that you have a child. I sincerely hope that he isn’t homosexual or transgender, as you will surely immiserate him for his entire life with your intolerant fundamentalism. I also sincerely hope that you are so zealous in your attempts to force him to believe the nonsense you spread on this blog that he arrives at the conviction that god is not only a man-made farce, but also that it causes people like you– people who might otherwise be tolerant and loving– to be intolerant and hateful toward lifestyles that do not align with your own code of ethics. A code of ethics, I might add, that is interpreted from a book written almost two thousand years ago by men who actually witnessed none of the things they claim happened, and who are unsurprisingly inconsistent in their accounts.

    Please reconsider your antiquated attachment to the poisoned chalice that is religion. Please realize that vicarious redemption through human sacrifice (the core message of the new testament) is a barbaric, ugly, and hateful thing that no one should believe is true, especially not someone who intends to raise children.

    If you would like to email me a response, its jamieson.pierce@gmail.com

  3. steph. says:

    Hey,
    I came across your blog through your most recent post on Caitlyn Jenner. Though I disagreed with most of it, I commend your balls for sharing your beliefs, despite it not aligning with public opinion. Also I wanted to say thank you. Though I’ve never lost faith in God, in the last few years, I think that I have lost faith in religion. I have a lot of question and skepticism towards ideologies and beliefs that I once accepted as truths. I’m conflicted in wanting to wholeheartedly believe and serve God, yet, not being able to bring myself to understand and accept some of the same philosophies. If that makes sense? Anyways, I’ve read through your posts from May, April and now February. You truly wrote beautifully about the meaningfulness in marriage, the love you have for your son and how that’s a reflection of God’s love for us.
    Well, I hope the best for you. Hope you write that best selling book. Girl, twenty six is too young to be writing off dreams of living loudly. 🙂

  4. Sam says:

    I want to discuss your bigoted views. Care to discuss with me?

  5. Bee says:

    As a Christian, I’ve come to realise that life is not as easy as we would like it to be, it’s not the fantasy that we’re sold in the media. Some of us have to go through certain things that people don’t approve of (and it’s ok because we all have our journeys) to get to a place that God approves of. If everyone reads the post correctly, its essence is the fact that he’s not a hero and not that he has sinned, at least that’s what I’ve taken away from it, but I stand corrected. I don’t know what Bruce is going or has gone through (and I don’t like to comment on things that I don’t really understand like homosexuality; whether one is born with it or chooses it) but I trust that the Lord is watching over him. Very brave of you to step out like that in the name of the Lord, something I find it difficult to do because I don’t want to offend anyone including Him (God) by preaching the wrong things. Although I may not agree with everyone, I accept that we are all entitled to our opinions. As far as people calling others imbeciles, wrong platform and I think an apology for the name calling would only be befitting.

  6. mommaceta says:

    I wholeheartedly agree with what this gentleman said about writing off your dreams to live loudly. By sharing your life experiences thoughts and feelings this way… you are touching the hearts and lives of people you don’t know in a gentle quiet and thoughtful manner. I am one. You are a very good writer and I have no doubt that one day you will write a book, and who knows, it may end being a compilation of this blog. Best to you and God Bless.

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